I have been on a sabbatical for a while. Just been trying to deal with life and balance some things out. Really not wanting to accept the BIGGEST DRASTIC change that is going on in my life. Even now typing I’m tearing up. My grandmother passed on December 1,2016 and even though I had a great relationship with God, I now begin to wonder just how great it is. Now WAIT A MINUTE, I’m not saying I’m unhappy with Him or even questioning Him.
Let me explain!
Sometimes God sends events in your life to show you who you are and where you need to grow. This was one of those things. With my grandmother passing, I truly felt like I had no one that was going to be proud of me anymore. You see Wisdom (that’s what I called her) always encouraged me and kept me on my toes. She spoke of how proud she was of me and just gave me a burst of energy to keep me going. I thrived off that. With her not being here, NOW WHAT!
God showed me that I was looking at her but He used her to mold me to be what and who I needed to be now. Strong, independent, wise, family oriented and great work ethic are just some of the words that describe my grandmother BUT since her passing I’ve heard some people describe me using those same words. She lives in me and her legacy will continue through me.
My take away from this situation is:
God is of course the creater of ALL things. He created and picked my grandmother for our family for all those reason above and when her assignment was finished He took her home.
My grandmother was a warrior. Starting in 2008 till her passing she had 8-9 brain surgeries and bounced back THE NEXT DAY (no lie). When we all told her that we were grown up and had serious accomplishments because of her sacrifice for us, she was able to sit back. But when my mother walked in the room and kissed her and said “I love you Mommy and I’m going to be alright” my grandmother took her last breath. It was a beautiful but hurtful scene.
So today as I write this I’m releasing my tears and feelings and moving on. Accepting that she is gone BUT accepting the baton
How many of us have prayed and prayed and waited for God to answer our prayers only to feel like he’s not paying us no attention. I know I have! The truth of the matter is God hears us and sees us. In the bible it says that what ever we ask for God will give us. NOT! God is not a magical Jennie in the bottle and sometimes that’s how we make Him be. The truth of the matter is He may not be paying us ANY attention because we are not asking the right things.
I have seen this verse used out of context so many times Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” When reading this verse what do you get out of it? Some people have told me “see it right here, if you ask he will give it to you”…. NOPE!
God is not going to bless no mess. If you’re asking for more money and haven’t been a good steward with what he has given you then HECK NO why should He give you more money. Sometimes He really save us from ourselves. He knows what we need and what we can handle.
Are you praying and asking God for the same thing He wants for your life? Do you even know what God wants for you? Let’s try asking the creator what does He want for us.
Let’s remember that He has a plan for us, no matter what the circumstances are.